If You Let Paul Go Outside

If you let Paul go outside, he will want to plant the pansies that have been sitting at the bottom of the side porch since you bought them at the garden center a week ago.

On the way to plant the pansies, he will try to remember where he put his trowel after the last time he planted something.

He will start to walk around the yard, looking for his trowel and then he will notice the many acorns that have fallen on the front yard, crunching under his feet.

The acorns will make him want to rake the front yard.

After raking, he’ll see that the grass under the leaves is actually very tall and decide to mow it.

When he is done mowing, he will think about the new grass seed that he planted two weeks ago, that hasn’t sprouted yet, so he will decide to water it.

The water will remind him that our river has been leaking for months and he will suddenly get an idea of where the leak might be.

Looking at the river, he will see that there are many leaves that have recently fallen that could also be making it leak, so he will start picking all the leaves from the river. Then he will remember that he thought the leak might be coming from the waterfall.

So, he will remove some of the rocks near the waterfall and sure enough, there he’ll find a leak.

After fixing the leak, he will carefully replace the rocks, hoping that the river will stop leaking now. The rocks will remind him that he can get free rocks at the dump. So, he will decide to take the trash to the dump and get some free rocks to landscape his flowerbeds.

He will load the car with trash and drive to the dump. He will dump the trash and drive to the free rock pile. While looking for the perfectly shaped rock, he will remember that since he is out, he should probably stop at the grocery store to pick up some cream to make alfredo sauce for the fettuccini that we are to bring to our son’s house for dinner tonight. He will quickly decide to not get any rocks because he doesn’t want to carry around rocks in the trunk while shopping for groceries.

He will leave the dump without getting any free rock and drive straight to the grocery store to buy the much-needed cream. While at the grocery store, he will notice all the cool Halloween stuff there. He will also have to walk every isle to see if there just might be something else that we might need. While looking at the vegetables, he will see some tomatoes. They will remind him of his own garden at home and how he might have some tomatoes that are ripe there that the deer haven’t destroyed yet. He will pay for the cream and other items and drive home.

Once home, he will walk to the garden and find one tomato that is just barely blushing with ripeness. He will pick it and add it to the basket of tomatoes in the kitchen that he has previously saved from the deer.

Seeing the rotting bananas in a basket next to the tomatoes will remind him of the kitchen compost that he’s been collecting and has been stewing in a covered bucket on the front porch. Since it is late fall, he will decide that it should be just about ready. So he will spread the smelly compost on his herb garden.

Spreading the compost will remind him of the leaf mulch that he made just a few days ago. It will make him sad because he used all of that mulch and now needs to make more. He will remember that there is some old mulch in the front yard that he can use. So he will take his bucket and shovel to the front yard and dig up the old mulch.

Digging the mulch will remind him that he has some new climbing roses that he purchased on Saturday that need to be planted. Since he hasn’t built the arbor that these roses will grow up around, he will dig two holes where he thinks the arbor might go and plant the roses in each hole. He will then protect them from the coming winter with a covering of mulch that he just dug up.

Planting the roses will remind him that he promised someone from church that they could have some starts from a rose bush from his garden. So, he will go to the greenhouse for the tenth time today and get some pots and some potting soil and then dig up seven little rose bushes that have sprouted next to the big rose bush. He will plant them in seven pots for the man from church.

This will remind him that the Julia Childs rose growing in another part of his garden is blooming. He will go over and smell its beautiful yellow petals.

Then, he will notice the impatiens growing next to the Julia Childs rose is full of seeds, ready to burst. He will pick off the seeds pods and pop them, throwing their seeds into the garden for next spring’s blooms. He will walk throughout the yard, doing this to the other thousand impatiens growing in our yard.

Walking through the yard from impatiens to impatiens, he will see squirrels racing around, gathering nuts for winter. This will remind him to move his newly transplanted snapdragons up onto the picnic table to keep the squirrels from burying their nuts in the tender soil of his seedlings.

Moving the snapdragons, he will notice that some are big enough to transplant into bigger pots. So, he will make yet another trip to the greenhouse for bigger pots and more potting soil so that he can perform the transplant. He will transplant five snapdragons into bigger homes so that they have more room to grow.

Transplanting the snapdragons, he will notice how dirty his hands and clothes have gotten just walking around our yard and he will think that he should shower and change before going to our son’s house for dinner.

Walking to the house to shower, he will see the pansies, still sitting at the bottom of the side porch, smiling up at him, waiting to be planted.